My sweet girl… I hope I never let you down.

My sweet girl… I hope I never let you down.

Rocking my baby… Enjoying the new view.

Rocking my baby… Enjoying the new view.

Hannah was feeling left out

Hannah was feeling left out

Turned away for 2 seconds… #mommyfail

Turned away for 2 seconds… #mommyfail

"Colin, this is how it’s done. Now, don’t touch me!" #truebigsister

"Colin, this is how it’s done. Now, don’t touch me!" #truebigsister

Just woke up and ready to help mommy with laundry. #saycheese #crazybedhead

Just woke up and ready to help mommy with laundry. #saycheese #crazybedhead

It takes me a little longer to complete craft projects these days, but I finally finished Colin’s initials for the wall!

It takes me a little longer to complete craft projects these days, but I finally finished Colin’s initials for the wall!

I can’t believe he’s already one month old! Happy due date, too, buddy!

I can’t believe he’s already one month old! Happy due date, too, buddy!

I have mastitis and I am blessed

Tonight my heart aches.  Early on, I found out I was pregnant and due around the same time as a good friend of mine.  It was so exciting to be able to share some experiences, knowing we would have kids the same age.

Today, her daughter, Olive, passed away.  She aspirated meconium and couldn’t breathe on her own after child birth.  The trauma was too much for her baby girl.  Olive spent 2 days on this earth, and then went to be with Jesus this morning.  

I write this sitting in a hospital room as I battle a very painful mastitis… an infection associated with breastfeeding.  But I am blessed to even get to deal with something like this.  

So tonight, no matter what you believe, or even if you don’t, I ask that you keep my friend, her husband and their daughter, Olive in your thoughts and prayers.  They are the kind of family who constantly thinks of others and always makes a point to let you know they are thinking of you.  They don’t deserve this. Really, no one does.

Meet Colin Michael

The 3-4th of July were crazy days.  Needless to say, I was NOT expecting my water to break before my cerclage came out, and I was NOT expecting to deliver a late pre-term baby.  But here we are, and Colin Michael is doing great for his gestational age.

imageBorn at 2:56 a.m. on July 4th, 2014, he weighed 5 lbs, 10 oz. and was 18 inches long.

I knew the exact moment my water broke.  I felt a pop, and then I was literally soaked with water. My water broke with my daughter, so there was no confusion what this was this time… and it was a mess… despite the cerclage.

As my husband raced around the house to grab the necessities… diapers for Hannah, phones and chargers, and my computer… our daughter sat on the couch watching quietly.  She knew something was wrong.  Mommy was on her hands and knees on the floor and daddy was running around the house like a mad man! How could you not?! LOL

We didn’t have time to pack much more because I started to feel contractions quickly after my water broke, and the last thing I wanted to do was tear through that stitch.  We’d figure the rest out later.  We needed to get to the hospital pronto.

I was scared.  This was not going at all how I planned in my head. The birth of your child rarely does.  I wasn’t too scared for my baby.  35 week kids can go either way… need breathing tubes and feeding tubes in the NICU, or be totally fine.  I was more scared for me. 

First of all, we were no where close to ready.  Rooms hadn’t been painted.  Closets weren’t set up.  Furniture hadn’t arrived. Oh yeah and the basement is under construction.

Second, and most importantly my stitch was still in.  Who the heck was going to take it out?? Were we going to get to it in time?

That process turned out to be much more complicated than what I thought.  My doctor was on vacation this weekend, I knew she would be. But she still called ahead to labor and delivery to let them know I was coming in. 

After check in they took me to a labor and delivery room where two doctors (pretty typical for a teaching hospital) sat down and we discussed how the stitch was going to come out. I opted for no medication to start.  I knew it was a relatively quick procedure.  In fact, I figured I was in enough pain with the contractions… just take it out in between and I’d be okay.

Uh… wrong assumption. Because the stitch was wrapped around both of my cervices, it was extremely uncomfortable and even painful at times when they tried to just get a hold of it. It was taking A LOT longer than I expected.  I looked from one doctor to another asking if it was over yet.  They just couldn’t get it.  At one point, they even asked what type of stitch I had! 

Since it was causing me so much discomfort to take the stitch out with no meds, we decided to just get my epidural put in. Kill two birds with one stone… no more contractions, and less pain to take the stitch out. 

So we waited… about half an hour to 45 minutes for the epidural to arrive. She was helping someone else who was having a c-section.  By the time I finally got it in, my labor had progressed so much that my doctors could no longer locate the stitch.  My cervix had swollen up completely around it.

At this point they had to call the on-call high risk doctor. I give the hospital major credit.  They only wanted one O.R. open during the holiday, but my doctors and nurses managed to get the other one open to take care of me. So off I went. They numbed me up a little more and in minutes my stitch was out.  I immediately dilated to 5 cm. In less than an hour I was at 8.  We got that stitch out just in time.

Now it was a waiting game.  I truly thought I was in the clear.  And then I started to black out. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew something was wrong.  All I knew was I was confused and I was about to lose consciousness. They later told me the color had completely drained from my face.  I told my husband and my mother-in-law to find someone quickly.  I did not want to wake up and have no baby in my belly, and somewhere inside something was telling me I needed to fight to stay awake.

My blood pressure had plummeted. Nurses came in, rolled me onto my left side and gave me medicine to get my blood pressure back up.  We had to… because when that happened to me, it also happened to my baby. And that was frightening.

What I didn’t know was that can be a side effect to the epidural.  It had never happened to me before.  But apparently it’s pretty normal, and once we got my blood pressure back up, the baby’s slowly returned to normal too.  

Finally, NOW it was a waiting game.

It took me 3 pushes and ten minutes for the little guy to come into this world. He was a lot bigger than I thought he would be!

When your baby is pre-term, a ton of people are in that labor and delivery room with you.  There your doctors, any family you want, and a full staff of folks from the NICU.  I knew that going in.  But as Colin came out he screamed.  It’s the most beautiful sound in the room.  And his was LOUD. In fact, it basically prompted the entire NICU staff to leave.  And that made me extremely happy.

They kept Colin in the hospital for longer than a usual full term baby.  We needed to make sure he was gaining weight, passed breathing tests, hearing tests, car seat tests, etc. We supplemented him with milk until mine came in.  Now, 2 and a half weeks later… he weighs more than six pounds, and my pediatrician says we need to stop treating him and thinking of him as a preemie… because he’s not acting like one. For that, I am so grateful.

You see, that night there were several 35 week moms who came in to UCH to deliver.  Who knows what was going on that caused us all to go into labor.  Three of those babies were still in the NICU when we were allowed to leave.  So we were so blessed to have a baby who did and is doing so well. 

Uterus didelphys threw me a couple of punches at the end of my pregnancy.  Since Hannah had gone full term, we didn’t completely expect my next baby to come so early.  But my doctors still warned me that it could happen.

Interestingly enough, both Hannah and Colin were the exact same size when they came into this world.  I guess we now know the threshold for my right uterus! 5 lbs, 10 oz, 18 inches long… time to exit!

Colin Michael is my little fighter.  And I can’t wait watch his life adventure begin!